I’ve worked very hard at understanding myself, learning to be assertive. I’m past the point where I worry about people liking me.
~Pam Dawber

We’ve all experienced moments where we wanted to speak up for something we felt strongly about, yet failed to do so. Failure to speak up could be the result of many things, but it usually stems from fear of rejection or low self-esteem. During these moments, you may have let someone take advantage of your kindness. You may have even let someone talk you into doing a task at work that you didn’t feel was right.

Benefits of Assertiveness

This is where the importance of being assertive becomes clear. Assertiveness is defined as the ability to respectfully express one’s feelings, without hurting others. When communicating with someone assertively, you are being clear and honest about your opinions. Although some people are naturally assertive, for the rest of us it is a skill that can be developed. In the workplace, it is a valued personal trait that can help you succeed.

If you are able to learn how to be more assertive, you’ll find that this will diminish your stress levels greatly. This is because you are reducing the conflict that arises from not speaking your mind. There are several positive effects of being assertive that can help you succeed:

1. Increased self-confidence.

When you’re able to voice your opinion confidently on matters at work, people will take note of your opinion and integrate it into the team. You never know when you’ll have a breakthrough idea or be able to solve a problem for the team unless you offer your solutions. Remember that you need to believe in yourself; if you weren’t bringing something unique to the table, you wouldn’t have been given the job in the first place. You’ll also be more confident when you find that you’re able to successfully renegotiate terms, or to say no when you think it’s the right thing to do.

2. Better negotiation skills.

Conflict in business or in the workplace is inevitable; it’s how you deal with it that matters. You can be reasonable without letting people step all over you. Imagine the suffering you’ll put yourself through if you accept jobs or terms that you think aren’t worthwhile. Save yourself the time and energy instead by speaking up rationally and logically. As much as possible, be fact-based and logical when discussing the reasons for your decisions.

3. Improved relationships with others around you.

If you’ve lived a passive life, both personally and in the workplace, it may take some time to get used to the new assertive you. Eventually, though, people will adjust to the change. Good business relationships and friendships will survive this change; in fact, they will thrive because your relationships are more honest. You may not even know it, but living a passive life may have caused deep feelings of resentment. People may sense that you are unhappy without knowing why, and you can let go of these negative feelings once you’ve learned to be assertive.

4. You’ll enjoy more free time.

It’s good to help other people whenever you can, especially when you’re gifted at something that they really need your help with. Sometimes, though, when you’re too nice, people tend to abuse this. When you learn to say no for the right reasons, you’ll find that you enjoy more free time for yourself. You’ll be able to focus on doing things that really matter.

5. Reduced stress.

You may be burdened by your relationships with coworkers or your workload. Developing the art of assertiveness will reduce this greatly for you. When you’re assertive, you’ll be able to voice your issues without hurting people’s feelings, and at the same time you’ll be able to put your foot down. You’ll learn how to listen and renegotiate for better terms. Read more about how to manage stress better in our helpful article, 7 Ways to Manage Your Stress Level.

Making small changes in the way you communicate can help you develop into the ideal assertive person in the workplace or in your personal life. Invest in making a conscious effort to develop yourself into a respectful, assertive person, and you will go places.

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