Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means – Ronald Reagan

Earlier on in my work life, I  was in an organisation where the relationship between employee and management could best be described with one word. Toxic. The atmosphere was bad. Relationships between employees were no better. And all this contributed to making the work environment very stressful.

Relationships often become strained due to unresolved conflict within the workplace. While conflict is necessary for a properly functioning workplace, this conflict doesn’t have to cause strained workplace relationships.

Of course, negative impacts from bad relationships aren’t limited to the workplace. They happen at home and just about anywhere you have more than one person occupying the same space.

By learning how to properly manage conflict, you can improve efficiency while keeping good relationships.

Here are 7 ways to practice good conflict management that will lead to better relationships at work:

1. Use active listening

Active listening techniques can go a long way in resolving workplace conflict. Active listening is a way of listening and responding to others in a way that improves understanding. Active listening enables you to understand what the other party is saying with words. With active listening, you are also listening for what is not spoken with words.

Through your own response, you check to see if you fully understand what the other party is saying. You communicate to the conflicting party that you are paying attention to and have an interest in what message is being conveyed.

Active listening will equip you with the information needed to arrive at a position that is beneficial to all concerned.

2. Expect conflict

Instead of trying to ignore or avoid conflict, you should understand that conflicts are an inevitable part of relationships and interaction. Since people have different ideas and motivations, it is inevitable that conflict will occur within the workplace.

Avoiding or ignoring conflict is often counter-productive and can be damaging to workplace relationships. Instead of running away from conflict, it is important to tackle conflict head on in an attempt to come to the best resolution.

3. Pick your conflicts well

Knowing when to embrace conflict and when to avoid it is an important part of good conflict management. Don’t get too caught up on standing up for yourself all the time – sometimes it may be better to back off and allow the other person to “win”. These situations occur when you realise that the outcome isn’t worth spending time or energy over or when the conflicting party have a valid point.

4. Don’t get too emotional

When engaging in conflict resolution, it is important to manage and control your emotions. This is because being emotional will have a negative impact on your conflict management abilities. When you become too emotional, your thinking becomes clouded and you are unable to think logically and rationally in dealing with conflict.

Being too emotional can easily escalate the level of hostility in a conflict. In order to avoid becoming more emotional, simple techniques such as counting to ten or walking away from the situation will allow you to “cool down” and later resume the situation with a more level head. If both parties had remained less emotional in the conflict in my old workplace, the stormy situation would not have happened and the tense office environment would not have arisen.

5. Separate the person from the problem

It is important to view the conflict itself as separate and apart from the person that you are having a conflict with.

People will often take a conflict and the negative emotions related to that conflict and associate those emotions with the person with whom they are in conflict with. As a result, these negative emotions can take a serious toll on your personal and working relationships.

By separating the person from the conflict, you will manage the conflict better. You increase the likelihood of a successful resolution of the conflict and also ensure a smoother working and personal interaction with the person responsible for the conflict. This again will result in reducing your stress levels at work.

6. Keep conflict private (as possible) 

If you are in conflict with a party at work, then it is best to keep that conflict private between you and the conflicting party. This type of information can lead to a toxic work environment as other people within the workplace begin to take sides and form damaging views of one party or the other. As a result, it is best to keep conflict private or discuss it only with a pre-approved mediator or human resource personnel. For example, it would have been a much better idea for my former workplace to keep her grievances between her and management instead of putting it on display for all to see, or discuss it with the human resource manager in order to come to a more positive resolution.

7. Look for a resolution

Your primary aim in a conflict situation should always be to seek a resolution to the conflict. Many people avoid seeking a solution because of the emotional high that is accompanied with getting a “win” in a conflict.

A conflict resolution that produces a winner and a loser is often counter-productive and only leads to the conflict being dragged out longer. Instead, put your effort into finding solutions that will give both you and the other party a mutually beneficial resolution.

While conflict in the workplace is something that many people feel uncomfortable about, there are ways in which you can deal with this conflict and even allow it to be beneficial to you.

Why not leave a comment and tell us how these 7 ways can helped you.